Posted by: justj | November 2, 2011

The path that was taken

I’ve developed a sense of gratitude for facebook. I startered using it just to make contact with my children, but I’ve noticed that there are times it puts me in a thoughtful mood.

Case in point, a question was brought up today: “If you could go back 20 years in your life, would you?”.

I’ve asked myself that question, or one similar many times in my life. I always give it the same answer. I like who I am. I like where I am. My past made me who I am and took me to the where I am. I can’t change the past without changing me. So, no thank you. I’ll stick to the past that was.

Of course, this is all conjecture. There isn’t a way to get to the past. And even if you got there could you be sure the changes you made would be better for you and all involved. I know that I couldn’t be sure.

My life has been filled with joy and saddness. I’ve done some incredibly stupid things, and have had some flashes of brilliance. Without the saddness, the joy would be less intense. Without the mistakes, the good choices would be lost in history. Because of the differences, things stand out. They shine and become things to strive toward. They become part of the greater picture.

I have said that I am the product of my past. My past made me who I am. But the best thing of all is this: If I don’t like who I am or where I’m at, I don’t need to go back in time to change anything. I can start now and change the person I will be tomorrow.

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BUT, if you could go back in time to witness any event in history and be totally apart from the action (a fly on the wall, if you will)… Yes, not possible but interesting to think about, IMHO.

But to go back into my own life and try to turn left when I previously turned right is not for me, either.

Hmm, I think that could be expanded on for another post. What if you find out the history you were taught was not the history that happened? Interesting…

I’ve already found out that a lot of the history I was taught was not the history that happened, but I would still like to be a fly on the wall witnessing certain things from history.
I would not take the offer to go back 20 years (or any amount of time) into my own life either. Mistakes I’ve made have helped me learn and become who I am, besides, who’s to say that I wouldn’t make bigger mistakes the second time around? I am in a place in life where I grow consistently happier and happier, and I wouldn’t risk changing that!

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