Random Thoughts
Clearing the brain so it keeps working
Sharing a smile
Feb 8th
We are taught early in life that it is good to share. Most of us at that young age really don’t want to share things that we consider ours. We will happily share things that don’t belong to us, especially if the item belongs to an older sibling. 
Hopefully, as time goes by it gets easier to share things we have.
We can share our ’stuff’ with others. Give money to the charity. Give items to various thrift shops. By food and sundries for a local soup kitchen or food pantry. Local agencies of many kinds ask for donations of money, food, clothing and even blood. Yes, we can share our stuff with others.
We can share our time with others. Volunteering at the above locations is also a way of sharing. We can help our friends, neighbors and other members of our community by doing things for them, that they are unable to do by themselves. Our time is precious and it can be shared.
When we get closer to people (friends, family, loved ones) we often share our emotions. This can be difficult for some, but it can be very rewarding to both parties. Because of the nature of this sharing, it can, at times, cause pain and heartache. Emotional sharing opens many doorways to our souls.
But even when we have no ’stuff’, time, or deep emotions to share, it can be easy and wonderful to share one last thing. With almost no effort on our part we can share a smile. Smiles, like yawns, can be infectious. Start a smile in a room and see how many others share your smile. Start laughing in a room and see how long it takes for that to make the rounds.
I’ve found that sharing smiles and laughter are some of the best things to share. It will make a lasting impression on those you meet, and generally that impression will be a good one.
Words of life
Feb 6th
As I live life, talk with friends, watch movies, or live theater, I come across words that in some way touch my life. That touch may only be for a second or two, but the results can be extraordinary.
Last night, I was humbled. People came down after the show to express their gratitude for our acting. My little performance received high praise from many people. As I said, I was humbled. This is a role, as late early this week, I did not feel was my best effort. I am very glad it pleased the audience. Those short “thank yous” meant a lot to me.
Over the course of my life, I’ve been fascinated with words and our ability to communicate many things with those words and how we say them. Written communication can never compete with the vocal/visual combination, but they do have some effect on the way I view things. If they didn’t, I don’t think I would be writing a blog.
Being able to communicate well is helpful in most situations. There are times that I wish my skills in this area were better, but I will take what I have. Of course I want to share the words that have touched my life in some way or another.
Around in the winter of 1983 and 1984 I started hearing the words “Hi Daddy” from a precocious 2 year old. Those two words changed my life. In her eyes, I was daddy from the time those words were uttered. According to the State, it took until 1985. I was able to hear those words from 3 other lovely young ladies over the past years too. Sometimes I wonder what I did to be able to hear those words with the love that is evident every time they say them.
Of course, other words from my family have also deeply touched me. Words like: “Father of the Bride”, “Husband and Wife”, “I love you.” There have been sad words too. “I’m sorry we couldn’t do more.”, “We need to go to the hospital (or emergency room).”, “We don’t know.”, “It was a heart attack.”, “It was cancer.”
And with my family there were also many movie quotes that are used in our daily lives. Here are a few that I think are special.
This is my family. I found it, all on my own. Is little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.
I always have a wonderful time, wherever I am, whomever I’m with.
No matter what happens tomorrow, or the rest of my life, I’m happy now because I love you.
Years ago my mother used to say to me, she’d say, “In this world, Elwood, you must be” – she always called me Elwood – “In this world, Elwood, you must be oh so smart or oh so pleasant.” Well, for years I was smart. I recommend pleasant. You may quote me.
I’ll give you a winter prediction: It’s gonna be cold, it’s gonna be grey, and it’s gonna last you for the rest of your life.
I know. You know I know. I know you know I know. We know Henry knows. And Henry knows we know it. We’re a knowledgeable family.
Words and how they are said make a difference. That is one reason I am careful with the words that come from my mouth, pen or keyboard.
A night off
Feb 4th
I’m sitting here doing a lot of nothing. No rehearsal, no lines to memorize, chores that can be put off for a day or two. All of that is good, because I’m in desperate need to rest my throat a bit. I have one part in the show that I really have to force my voice a bit. Every rehearsal, I need some liquid to help sooth my throat. Part of this is the voice I use, and the other is my winter sinus problems. If it was just one of the two, my throat would be fine. So tonight I relax and maybe drink some hot tea.
Not much more to say. Life is boring, and for tonight that is good.
Maybe it is coming together
Feb 2nd
We have one more dress rehearsal tomorrow night. Tonight was the first night I really felt comfortable in my role. I had flashes of comfort in the past week or so, but tonight felt good. Few things that I would like to improve on, but that is a never ending quest.
I haven’t written much about this show, partly because of how I was feeling about my character. Another point was an actor dropped out. The sickness and then death of someone close to him prevented him from doing the play. That situation did not help the feelings I was having.
Our director stepped in to take the role and had the part memorized in under a week. That made me feel bad, since I had my role for a month before that and I was still trying to get the lines down. It took me some time, but I eventually got there.
The of course there were the problems of getting the entire cast there on time and on the same day. That is three plays (that I have been involved with) in a row. What is happening. I remember more than one show that it was odd for a person to miss a rehearsal. Hmm.
Anyway, today’s show fell together nicely. We lost a cast member or two because of their work schedules, but we were able to work around that. Tonight was funny and in some parts very touching.
So to put it in a very few words: We have a show. 
What was I thinking?
Jan 21st
I’m in another play. Tryouts were just before Christmas. Rehearsals started the week of Christmas (I think). I’m trying to memorize my lines and get the character down.
I shouldn’t have tried out. I shouldn’t have taken the part. I knew better, but I did it anyway. It was the only show of the season that I even wanted to be a part of.
It wasn’t that I just finished one show and rushed into a second. That is no problem at all. I usually like rehearsals and getting the part down. No, it was the timing of the show. It is the time of year and the days that surround it. I’m only doing half the work I need to do to get the character down. I’m actually doing less than that to get the lines memorized. My mind is unable to focus once I get home.
Maybe it will get better in the coming week or two (it better, the show is only 2 weeks away). I really hope so.
I have a handle on the why and the when. I am making a promise to myself to really limit my selection of shows to do in the early part of the year. Too many other things on my mind.
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I remember the last thing we watched together. I remember our last meal together. I remember that damn oxygen machine. I remember sitting and holding your hand while you were going in and out of a fitful slumber. I remember walking you down the hall, you holding me for support. I remember the last time I tucked you in. I remember your last words. I remember my last words to you. I remember that first New Years Eve without you. I remember the memorial service and the people there. I remember that first anniversary without you.
Those are the thoughts that fill my head at this time of year. The inconsequential needs of a play find very little room in my head. Even after six years, the thoughts of you are one with me and I with them. I remember love.
